Friday, August 22, 2008

giving myself the finger

I've been having a fantastic time crashing my mountain bike lately. In the span of four days I've managed to costume the right side of my body as a Kaleidescope of Ow: minor hematoma on the kneecap, chain-ring swipes on the calf, the rumblings of a grapefruit-sized bruise on the hip, and various other bloody scrapes in the shapes of rocks and sticks. Did I mention the exfoliating power of volcanic pumice? The trophy boo-boo of the week, however -- a jammed middle finger now swollen to the dimensions of a Lil' Smokie, and approximately the same shade -- I earned on a ride two days ago whilst poaching the Mammoth Mountain Bike Park.*

Thursday, August 14, 2008

nbc? try "wtf?"

Candid photos of athletes in less-than-flattering poses mid-play? I get that. In fact, I believe an entire DVD empire has been built on such unintentional farce. But for this, NBC's sports desk ought be forced to relinquish their Olympic press credentials and relocate their offices to Maxim HQ, where they can swap fart jokes, make loud announcements about "the tits on that new chick in HR!", and generally wax misogynistic to their hearts' content.

Seriously, where's the gallery of the U.S. Men's Olympic Swim Team with their Speedos up their asses?

Thursday, August 7, 2008

trolleys and trails

This past Monday, I took part in something I'd never before experienced: an all-girl mountain bike ride. Thanks to the efforts of the dudes at Footloose Sports here in Mammoth -- yes, dudes...no women in the bike shop yet -- a gang of local ladies were treated to Trolleys and Trails: a shuttle up to Minaret Vista, your choice of a road, beginner MTB, or advanced MTB guided ride back to the shop, and on-trail instruction from Footloose employees along the way. Post-ride, a magnificent array of cheeses, fruit, crackers, and -- oh, yes -- wine awaited the hungry pack. You should see the pictures.